Loneliness in family life is something you dread, as you do not have the mindset to withstand it.

You feel deprived and depressed when your family does not love or care for you. The lack of love you experience in your family life makes you feel lonely and unhappy.

Yes!

You feel empty and robotic when your family does not show their love for you. Unless you are loved and cherished by your kith and kin, there can be dreadful loneliness in family life.

The impact of loneliness in family life can be devastating when you do not have the will power to withstand it.

Can you see that loneliness is a state of isolation you feel, when your family members do not love or care for you?

How do you feel when you experience loneliness in family life?

• You feel emotionally shattered.
• You are demoralized that you cannot share your feelings with your family.
• Your heart aches for your spouse\parents\children to listen to your woes.
• You become suicidal as you feel your life is worthless when your own family does not care for you.

How can there be loneliness in your life when you have a family?

Family always means a bond of care and love. Loneliness has no place in it. But, most often, it is wrong. Many of you feel very lonely even when you are with your family.

The physical presence of your family will not take away your loneliness if you do get emotional support from them. You love your family and expect a reciprocal love from them. But, when you are completely ignored and taken for granted by them you feel very lonely and secluded from your own family.

Why is it so?

Human mind is very complex and emotional. It demands attention all the time. When you feel that there is no one to support and care for you, you feel unwanted and unloved in your family.

Can we now see how each member of your family makes you feel lonely?

Your parents makes you feel lonely

Do you know that your parents can also make you feel lonely when they treat you slavishly?

Parents wants you to live their dream. They fail to understand that you too have dreams about your life. When they force you to do things their way, your mind revolts at the injustice meted out to you.

But, you dare not open your mouth as you dread them. When you bow knees to their commands, you feel emotionally shattered.

Your parents do not interact with you in friendliness which makes it impossible for you to share your apprehensions\fears\emotions with them. They spend more time with their mobile phones than with you.

They talk at you, rather than with you.

When your parents try to take over your life, you do not like it a wee bit. You crave for their understanding and empathy which never seems coming. You spend lonely hours at home with your mobile phones\internet\video games.

Not surprising you experience loneliness in family life, isn’t it?

What do you expect from your parents?

• You expect them to give you the much needed freedom to decide your life.
• You want them to throw away their mobile phones to interact with you.
• You want them to be friendly and outgoing with you.
• You want your parents to understand you from your viewpoint.

You wishfully expect these things from your parents so that you do not feel isolated and lonely.

Your spouse also makes you feel lonely

You often feel loneliness in family life when the unloving and demanding nature of your spouse makes you mentally drained and fatigued.

The physical presence of your spouse does not in any way compensate for lack of psychological support you experience in your relationship.

What are the emotional cravings you have about your spouse?

• You want open demonstration of the love your spouse has for you.
• You want his\her unconditional support.
• You crave for words of encouragement and appreciation from your spouse.
• You dearly want acknowledgment for the contribution you make towards the family.

It is very natural for you to expect such mental backup from your spouse, isn’t it?

But, your spouse scarcely listens to you when you go to him\her to share your problems with him\her. Apart from sharing certain mutual problems like money and children, you and your spouse live as an island. With both working, each exists in a world of worries and issues related to your work. Your spouse worries about his\her work load, about his\her abusive boss and his\her success in job.

When your emotional needs are totally ignored by your spouse, you feel completely shut away from his\her life. When he\she goes about his\her work as if you didn’t exist, you feel absolutely lonely and deserted.

“My spouse does not care for me. It is as though I am all alone in my own family with no one to support me,” you mind literally screams in torturous need for a kind word from him\her.

When your minds are poles apart, the physical presence of your spouse can in no way fulfill your emotional needs.

Your children also make you feel lonely.

Do you know that your children makes you feel lonely when they do not discuss their decisions with you?

You made many sacrifices for them and they are what they are today because of you. But your children easily overlook your sacrifices which makes you feel terribly lost and lonely.

You are often taken aback by the indifference your children show towards you as they grow up.

What do you expect from your children?

• You want your children to respect and value you.
• You want them to spend quality time with you.
• You want them to consult you before making any important decisions.

But, your children never do it, thereby thrusting you into a world of loneliness.

Your children avoid you when they take important decisions. You are totally ignorant of their plans for their future. They consult their friends\colleagues. But never you. You hear about their decisions from a third person.

Nothing more can make you experience loneliness in family life, isn’t it?

My daughter is working in the USA and not once do I feel lonely. It is because my daughter always conveyed her love to me whenever she calls me. She frequently tells me how much she was missing me. This made me feel wanted and loved by her. This telepathic connection of being loved makes me feel relaxed and peaceful. It is as if she is with me.

What would have happened if my daughter never called me, or never conveyed her love?

I would have felt very lonely indeed. So, it is the interconnection of love that makes you feel belonged. If the message of love is not felt, you become terribly upset and distressed.

CONCLUSION

“Loneliness is never more cruel than when it is felt in close propinquity with someone who has ceased to communicate” – Germaine Greer

Like happiness, loneliness is also a mindset.

Your emotional needs will be with you until the day you live. You want your family to love you more than anything else. You want the connective feeling of love conveyed to you without you having to search for it. And when you do not get it, you are gripped by loneliness.

Quite natural, isn’t it?