Do you know relying on others for your happiness could destroy you?
It is a harsh reality, that relying on others for your happiness is a mistake you constantly make. If you do so, rest assured that you will never be happy, anytime in your life.
- You want your children to make you happy.
- You want your spouse to make you happy.
- You want your parents to make you happy.
- You want almost everyone to make you feel happy.
You feel, that your happiness depends on the way everyone behaves towards you. You become so emotionally attached to your near and dear ones, that you constantly look towards them to make you feel happy.
- You want your children to obey your wishes and demands.
- You want your spouse to behave in a way you like.
- You want your parents to take care of you.
If your parents\spouse\children do not behave as you want them to, you feel very unhappy and dejected about your life.
Do you know you should never rely on others for your happiness, if you want to live a peaceful life?
It is because, no one has the capacity to make you feel happy. No one has the time, or the mindset to behave in a way your like. Everyone has their own life to lead. Everyone has their own desires to be fulfilled. So, if you expect that other people will go out of their way to make you happy, you will only be utterly disappointed and saddened.
When you rely on others for your happiness, it shows how mentally weak and meek you are. When you have the mindset of depending on others to make you happy, you will never ever experience happiness in your life.
Here are some harsh reasons why you should stop relying on others for your happiness
Your parents cannot make you feel happy
You love and respect your parents. But many a time, you feel unhappy with them. You feel your parents do not understand you. You also feel your parents are not supportive enough.
You are wrong in depending on your parents for your happiness.
You must understand that your parents are different individuals, with their own ideologies and principles. Your parents cannot be like you, and you cannot be like them.
Your parents can love you, but they cannot live your life. Respect your parents, but do not become dependent on them. Listen to their advice. But make your own decisions about your life.
Do not let your parents to influence you in any way. Living your life on your own terms and conditions, is the only way to feel happy.
Your spouse cannot make you feel happy
You have great expectations, when you marry your spouse. You are dreamy, that your spouse would behave in a way you like. You have limitless dreams, that there will be no fights between you and your spouse.
All your dreams are shattered, after a few years of your relationship.
You become emotionally devastated, when your spouse is not up to your expectations. When you experience differences of opinion with your spouse, you are unhappy that your marriage is not after all what you expected it to be.
How wrong you are!
You spouse is a different individual, from a totally different upbringing. So, you must expect your spouse to be totally different from you. You must also realize that your spouse will not change himself\herself to adapt you.
You must also understand, that you will not change yourself to adapt your spouse. You are unhappy that your spouse is not perfect. You fail to understand, that you too are not what your spouse expected you to be.
Having dreamy expectations about your spouse will only make you feel unhappy.
Your children will not make you happy
Your children have their own ambition and will live their life according to their dreams. Expecting your children will always obey you to the dot, is a blunder you should never commit.
Expecting your happiness in your children, is yet another life mistake you should not commit.
This is not all.
You have expectations in your workplace, your friends and almost about everything around you.
Can you make others happy?
You cannot.
You might make your children\parents\spouse\friends happy on one occasion. But not always. If you go about making others happy, you will not be leading your life. You will be wearing a mask of a person who is not the real you.
When you have to constantly wear a mask, you will only feel that you have lost the real person in you. When you cannot make others happy, you cannot expect them to make your happy.
Understand one simple fact about life.
Happiness begins within you, and ends within you. If you make up your mind to feel happy, no one in this world can make you miserable. But when you rely on others for your happiness, you will be disappointed and crushed when no one goes out of their way to make you happy.
- Forgo high expectations about other people.
- Live your own life.
- Do not compare your life with others.
- Feel happy with what you have got.
- Be proactive and productive.
- Work relentlessly towards your success.
- Live the present.
- Make good your opportunities.
- Set your own boundary line.
- Be practical and accept life as it comes.
When you feel fulfilled about your life and forgo your expectations about others, you will feel lot less tension free and stress free.
Conclusion.
Feeling happy does not depend on others. It depends on your mindset. Only you have to develop this mindset. When you make up your mind to be happy, nothing in this world can deter you from feeling content and cheerful.
Mathi Surendran is passionate in writing about relationships and life. She is also the founder of the relationship blog